So, what's the story .... Morning Glory....?

as i stand over a pool of my own blood and stare at a distorted reflection of my face, i decide to finally, bare all. say it like it is and not think about how it may sound. because it is going to sound as it is, nothing else. it cannot sound any different from the stark reality. no flowery words or pretty frills are going to make me seem any nicer than i really am.
many aeons ago, i was dying to step into the real world and taste its many wonders. today, i've finally stepped into sea and it is doesn't give me a heady feeling of bliss achievement. it feels heavy on my heart and impossible to deal with. facing the real world means, your life will constantly have more than one problem, it will also mean that you cannot trust a single soul around you.
the real world, consists of bills you cannot seem to pay and people you cannot seem to stand for more than five minutes. i had this insane belief that i know it all, i sadly learnt that i know nothing and i control nothing.
so, as my first post said, i'd have to someday write here who really is morning fire and how did that name come about anyway. well, i stole the tag from one of my old memories. apparently, i willing to let the coffee go but not the tag. so, i stole it. no, i did not create it, i simply took it off someone who is of greater intellect than me and who i know, today, is a better person than i can ever be. i started writing here because i had nowhere else to go and no one who would hear me out. i believe i can do great things one day, and i also believe that i will go to my grave with that belief unfulfilled. not that it bothers me anymore. it used to, but, not anymore.
i try just like many others to attract attention. most of the time unnecessary attention. i do things that i shouldn't do and say things that mostly hurt. i am proud of the fact that in my head, i live on an island. i don't like people and i do everything i can to stay away from them. i sit for hours doing nothing, because i like it like that. it suits me better than doing something and then messing it up.
i read thick boring books and tell myself that i am being intellectual when in all reality, i am just escaping, because people usually do not get into conversation with somebody who has their head inside a book. it is easier. easier than having a conversation.
i am rude while trying to be insightful. insolent while trying to intellectual. so, that is the story, by morning glory.

why do you want to be like that;
like there is nothing new.
you are not fooling anyone;
you are not even fooling you!

connecting the broken strings..

as i sit watching these cars whizz by me in their superfast, extravagant speed, i wonder when i will get back into the race long begun and left undone. my unconnected thoughts force me to stay away from my keyboard. but, something within me pushes me to write lest i forget what i set out to do. i am scared i will lose touch with my inner reality. one of my primary thoughts goes back to the days gone by. the goddamn stars, water and pretty pretty lights. its funny how no matter what i do, or what turn my life takes, i remember broken, old promises. some i made to myself, some others made to me and some i made to others. i see this large container filled with blood and feel myself drowning into it. i delve deep into my soul and try to pull out the beautiful images i used to carry around in my heart not so long ago. i don't find any, and i don't know where to look anymore. so, i go back into the past, not cursing but remembering. wondering every day what it would be like had things not changed. maybe i wouldn't have been as wise as i am. maybe, not as strong. but, maybe i'd still have been innocent and trusting. many tell me the world is not worth trusting, but, sometime ago, it was. no?