Kothiyavunu.com -Flavors reminds Gods Own Country

Kothiyavunu.com -Flavors reminds Gods Own Country

Opinions, opinions ?

Well, here it is, my questions to those of you who are up for a discussion ?

The other day, by the blazing fire of bbq coals on a cold cold winter night, I met an interesting young woman. She is currently pursuing a degree to become a Chartered Accountant (this information is not necessary, but, it makes me proud to see a young woman with dreams). So, well we got talking as most women do (another stereotype, that is totally getting onto my nerves !). The topic of discussion was women, our place in society and our 'boundaries'. Knowing how opinionated I am, and am proud to be, the word boundaries did not go down too well with me, and hence I fired up a debate.

Why do we state boundaries for ourselves ? Aren't boundaries, primarily constricting ? I would prefer limits, not that a choice of word would change the emotion. But, boundaries and societal and limits are personal. At least according to me. Limits are when I decide that one glass of red sherry is just about all I can take, and boundaries are when society states that a man can drink but to a woman, it is taboo. How so ? Isn't drinking universally a bad idea ?

We have, as women, limited our horizons by our own will. We have succumbed to stereotypes and agreed to being the weaker sex, mind you, 'weaker' not 'fairer'. So, as the discussion progressed we spoke about the cage that is self created. We have agreed that we belong within the four walls of a home, OUR home, yet we fight to survive the fast paced economic rat race. We have agreed that OUR man must only and only come back to OUR house, but step out and find solace in OTHER men. So who is really confused ? Us ? Or the men ?

I would say, its time we analyse our own roles in our own lives. Striving to be something that we don't even completely agree with. This young cyclone wants to be a 'working woman' but has set boundaries ? Dreams are endless, aspirations are limitless. Then where does boundary feature ?

We are desperate, desperateee for our spot in the sunshine, yet we are running farther away from it by succumbing to the dogmas that surround us. Who do we WANT to BE ? Where do we WANT to GO ? Or are we just fighting the battle with the MEN because it seems like that's what everyone is doing now ? Are the men in our lives really threatening our individuality ? Or are we analyzing them based on what we 'hear' ? Are we one of the few fortunate women whose spouses don't physically and mentally abuse them and actually allow them the privilege to fight for their rights or are we the oppressed lot who get burnt, beaten and murdered ?

If we don't fall into the abused category and are primarily well taken care of , then what is all the noise about ? Are we using the current woman's Lib forum to manipulate our partners ? Or perhaps just to gain sympathy ? Yes, there are women out there who are being treated like lesser humans, so ? So, let's help THEM ! Let's look into the various issues that ACTUALLY surround women on a daily basis rather than whining to our actually caring spouses that they did not clear the trash out in time. So what if they didn't ? Well, nor did we !

I'd say, let's take out the trash once in a while, let's make breakfast on the weekend for once, let's go out to the park with the kids, let's NOT do our nails this week ! And let's go out there, find out what's troubling women with real problems, pull up socks and get down to helping make a REAL difference , and well, let's just stop whining about the men who we have, who do their best, EVERY DAY ! :)

Here is where, your opinion is being sought out, do you or don't you agree that we are complaining for NOTHING ? Are there boundaries ? Do we need to keep within society's idea of what we CANNOT do ?

Thank you for your time, and I hope the answers help. Please don't get catty on me ! ;)

forever and ever or just until .. ?

Well, so I realised that updating a status on facebook or tweeting is a bit limiting and I miss being able to say what I have to in a little more than 400 words. Obviously, that does make me sound like a bit of a talker, but, then again, who is to say that keeping quiet is what makes the world twirl ?

It has been a long time since I tread the lesser known territories, but, now that I have my writing gear back on, I am hoping that the world as an oyster has expanded slightly more than I remember.

A lot of interesting questions popped into my head as I put the finishing touches on my first chapter, and I have been far too smug about finishing just chapter 1 that I have not really got around to chapter 2, verse 1. Calling this stage as a writer's block would be optimistic of me. I seem to have had the writer's block for more than a few years now. I can safely blame facebook for this uncharacteristic change of events, with it asking me every time I refresh the page, 'what's on your mind ?' Typing down what my mind has been mulling over every few minutes, drains out the ideas that I might have otherwise placed in a column or in an article. Since I have my excuse in place, I can safely say it is time to 'get on with it' !

I must also add that I do sorely miss put an emoticon after each sentence as texting and facebooking (if there be such a word) have made me accustomed to.

The question that popped into my head today was, have we all forgotten the idea of building bridges ? How many of us in recent years have cut off from people who were a past of our past, or as I would like to put it, part of our 'history' ? We have come to the jet age where its easier to let go of old things. I remember my first mobile phone, it was a sony ericsson, model something something. It was so special to me back in the day, I remember checking on it every few minutes, keeping it charged at all times, I don't think I ever had the 'low battery' issue with it. There were absolutely no scratches on it and it had a nice jingly attachment with the symbol of my zodiac sign hanging from it. I guarded it with my life, at most times, until of course my life was on the line (as it has been every time I attempted to cross a road !). Over the years, I have used a number of mobile phones from different companies, in different countries. From a black and white display, I moved on to colour display, then came the infra red phones, then the bluetooth sought me out. As the years went by, the prices of my mobile phones increased and so did their functions. At one point, I saw myself with the 'camera mobile phone' , having a digital camera at the time, I had really no use for the camera in the mobile phone, but it seemed like the right thing to have at the time ! Eventually, today I have the 'smart phone' which removes the need for a camera, a computer, a digital diary, a walkman (yes, that's what I used to use in order to listen to 'good' music) and all other electronic gadgets. What I did notice had changed from my sony ericsson days was that even though now my phone is probably 10 times or more the price of my first mobile phone, I am far less careful with it than I was with the sony ericsson. I usually forget my phone at every place that I stop during the day. I have left it at the table in Dairy Queen, inside the machine at the airport, in the public restroom at my office, and many more unusual places. I realise I have become careless with it. Perhaps because I know that there are far nicer 'smart phones' out in the market and if I were to misplace the one I currently have, I can go and pick up the latest model of the latest hot brand and 'replace' my current phone.

Have we become that careless about our relationships as well ? I remember the days when we would weigh our words and double check our actions in the mere attempt to NOT hurt our friends and families. We would be cautious about the things we did and the decisions we made. We were a lot more caring and attentive of the people around us. Has the jet age, use and throw mechanism of today made us less intuitive of feelings and longevity ? The moment we see that a person or a relationship has become tedious, we easily 'replace' it with something 'better'. Whatever happened to forever and ever ? They don't even make movies of forever and ever anymore. Mobile phones are replaceable, houses are on rental agreements, jobs are contract based and relationships ? Well, relationships have become the dating saga. We have online dating, we have blind dating, and just about every kind of dating that is possible and even 'impossible'. And then we get bored, and 'move on'.

Is it that easy to find a new partner ? And whatever is the meaning of 'new' partner anyway ? Isn't a partner supposed to be till death do us apart or is it now, till the next one comes along ? We don't even make an effort to work on relationships anymore, because apparently 'there are many fish in the sea' , or are there really ? We end a relationship with the slightest of reasons, or sometimes with no reason at all. Is transference of love and loyalty second nature to us now ? We make promises to our 'current' partner and then forget about those promises ? We forget the dreams ? We forget the commitment ? Commitment has now become an oft misused term. Commitment today means, 'I won't sleep with anyone else WHILE I am sleeping with you.' Is that what it has come down to ?

In our search for 'the one' , are we allowed to walk over the hearts of those we don't think of as, 'the one' ? And even if we were to find 'the one' , how would we even know ? Perhaps we end up having a distasteful argument with 'the one' and walk away, like we have walked away from others in the past. And then is 'the one' lost to us in the sands of time ? Leaving us to a never ending quest of finding never never land ? Where is our sense of responsibility ? Or do we even have any ? Is finding 'the one' a task similar to finding another latest 'smart phone' ? Have we evolved to the extent that we don't realise the fine line between friendships and relationships ? Or have we entered the fast food era , where it doesn't matter whether you eat a burger or a pizza, all that matters is it should be delivered to you, under five minutes with no hassle or adjustment from your side ? Are we all looking for cut and dry companionship or have we become so 'independent' that we have lost the taste for long lasting relationships ?