connecting the broken strings..

as i sit watching these cars whizz by me in their superfast, extravagant speed, i wonder when i will get back into the race long begun and left undone. my unconnected thoughts force me to stay away from my keyboard. but, something within me pushes me to write lest i forget what i set out to do. i am scared i will lose touch with my inner reality. one of my primary thoughts goes back to the days gone by. the goddamn stars, water and pretty pretty lights. its funny how no matter what i do, or what turn my life takes, i remember broken, old promises. some i made to myself, some others made to me and some i made to others. i see this large container filled with blood and feel myself drowning into it. i delve deep into my soul and try to pull out the beautiful images i used to carry around in my heart not so long ago. i don't find any, and i don't know where to look anymore. so, i go back into the past, not cursing but remembering. wondering every day what it would be like had things not changed. maybe i wouldn't have been as wise as i am. maybe, not as strong. but, maybe i'd still have been innocent and trusting. many tell me the world is not worth trusting, but, sometime ago, it was. no?